Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
