it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
