Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
