She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
