He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
