You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
The chlamydia really affected his face.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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