The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
