'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize