my phone needs a breathalizer
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
