Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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