And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
