There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
