man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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