Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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