At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
