how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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