Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
