You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
