Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
