its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
