i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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