i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
