Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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