Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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