1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
You can't special order awesome
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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