I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize