ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
