There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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