Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
