I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
