If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
