If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize