So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
