Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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