I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
