absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
