eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
