Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
