You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
either way he was missing a nipple.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
