I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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