The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
