dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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