She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
