ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
