Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
