i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize