Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
