ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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