Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
