Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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