If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
