so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
