your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
