She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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