hotel room ftw
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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