considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
