Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
