Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
