Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
so let's talk penis.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
