so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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