You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
